Category: Joke Board
Who's your favorite stupido?
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YOU CANT FIX STUPID
This yearss competition was fierce; see the winners? below..
Eighth Place
In Detroit , a 41-year-old man got stuck and drowned in two feet of water after squeezing
head first through an 18-inch-wide sewer grate to retrieve his car keys.
Seventh Place
A 49 year old San Francisco stockbroker, who was totally zoned when he ran,and
accidentally jogged off a 100-foot high cliff on his daily run.
Sixth Place
Buxton , NC : A man died on a beach when an 8-foot-deep hole he had dug into the sand
caved in as he sat inside it. Beach-goers said Daniel Jones, 21, dug the hole for fun,
or protection from the wind, and had been sitting in a beach chair at the bottom Thursday
afternoon when it collapsed, burying him beneath 5 feet of sand. People on the beach, on
the outer banks, used their hands and shovels, trying to claw their way to Jones, a
resident of Woodbridge , VA , but could not reach him. It took rescue workers using heavy
equipment almost an hour to free him while about 200 people looked on. Jones was
pronounced dead at a hospital.
Fifth Place
Santiago Alvarado, 24, was killed in Lompoc, when he fell face-first through the
ceiling of a bicycle shop he was burglarizing. Death was caused when the long flashlight
he had placed in his mouth (to keep his hands free) rammed into the base of his skull as
he hit the floor.
Fourth Place
Sylvester Briddell, Jr., 26, was killed in Selbyville , Del , as he won a bet with
friends who said he would not put a revolver loaded with four bullets into his mouth and
pull the trigger.
Third Place
The following mind-boggling attempt at a crime spree in Washington, DC appeared to be the
robbers first (and last), due to his lack of a previous record of violence, and his
terminally stupid choices:
1. His target was H&J Leather & Firearms; A gun shop specializing in handguns.
2. The shop was full of customers - firearms customers.
3 To enter the shop, the robber had to step around a marked police patrol car
parked at the front door.
4. A uniformed officer was standing at the counter, having coffee before work. Upon
seeing the officer, the would-be robber announced a hold-up, and fired a few wild shots
from a target pistol. The officer and a clerk promptly returned fire, the police officer
with a 9mm GLOCK 17, the clerk with a 50 DESERT EAGLE, assisted by several customers who
also drew their guns, several of whom also drew and fired. The robber was pronounced
dead at the scene by Paramedics. Crime scene investigators located 47 expended
cartridge cases in the shop. The subsequent autopsy revealed 23 gunshot wounds. ;
Ballistics identified rounds from 7 different weapons. No one else was hurt in the
exchange of fire.
HONORABLE MENTION
Paul Stiller, 47, was hospitalized in Andover township, NJ, and his wife Bonnie was also
injured, when a quarter- stick of dynamite blew up in their car. While driving around at
2 AM, the bored couple lit the dynamite and tried to toss it out the window to see what
would happen, but apparently failed to notice the window was closed.
RUNNER UP: TACOMA , WA .
Kerry Bingham had been drinking with several l friends when one of them said they knew a
person who had bungee-jumped from the Tacoma Narrows Bridge in the middle of traffic. The
conversation grew more heated and at least 10 men trooped along the walkway of the bridge
at 4:30 AM. Upon arrival at the midpoint of the bridge they discovered that no one had
brought a bungee rope.
Bingham, who had continued drinking, volunteered and pointed out that a coil of
lineman's cable lay near by. One end of the cable was secured around Bingham's leg
and the other end was tied to the bridge. His fall lasted 40 feet before the cable
tightened and tore his foot off at the ankle. He miraculously survived his fall into the
icy salt water and was rescued ed by two nearby fishermen. all I can Say said
Bingham, is that God was watching out for me on that night.
There's just no other explanation for it. Bingham's foot was never located.
AND THE WINNER.
Overzealous zookeeper Friedrich Riesfeldt (Paderborn , Germany) fed his constipated
elephant Stefan 22 doses of animal laxative and more than a bushel of berries, figs and
prunes before the plugged- up pachyderm finally let it fly, and suffocated the keeper
under 200 pounds of poop! Investigators say ill-fated Friedrich, 46, was attempting to
give the ailing elephant an olive oil enema when the relieved beast unloaded on him.
The sheer force of the elephants unexpected defecation knocked Mr. Riesfeldt to
the ground ND where he struck his head on a rock and lay unconscious as the elephant
continued to evacuate his bowels on top of him said flabbergasted Paderborn police
detective Erik Dern. With no one there to help him, he lay under all that dung for at
least an hour before a watchman came along, and during that time he suffocated. It seems
to be just one of those freak accidents that proves... shit happens.
Bob
lol, nice
interesting
lol. reminds me of shows like maxEx or world's wildest videos. this was great!
Sorry can't resist it... you're shitting me! grin
Oh my gosh. How sad and ridiculous! LOL. This is interesting.
Yeah, but I'll bet the elephant felt a hell of a lot better. LOL. As for the others...well...it's almost a shame they all died as a result of their stupidity so that they didn't really get to learn a lesson.
hahahahah bob, nice one. lol
Ooooh! This was from the Darwin awards, wasn't it? If it wasn't, it should have been.... And yes, the elephant poo man is a clear winner, though the brave soul taking on the fire-arms shop.... Yikes!